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A Humorous Look at Motherhood

We provide this free health resource to visitors of the Community Room of SeniorSSuperStoreS in an effort to keep baby boomers, seniors and the elderly informed of matters that can affect their health and lifestyle.

Here's a light-hearted look at being a mother, since laughter is good therapy.

This is why there will be no more kids.......

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them even.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with the baby's juice.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't hurting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins
1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the doctor.
2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children... or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children... or anyone who has ever been a child themselves! (Guess that covers almost everyone, huh?)